Saltwater Ringhshout: Moments
…I needed to do it.
I felt such a push to do—at least begin.
Open this process before the new year.
Use this Winter Solstice.
And then also, honor the Sacred Return—honor all of it.
Honor this moment.
This new beginning, this new life.
The restoration of my life.
I think that’s what the Sacred Return is.
I can’t go backwards—I’m not gonna ever go back to the way life was.
I can be new again.
I can be new now…
27 December 2021
In honor of the Winter Solstice, I dreamed up a two-part Soils Lab for the Garden, What Am I Holding? Sunday’s practice was Saltwater Ringshout: Activating Deep Water Communions, and it was a joint gathering for the Garden and Dancing Mother.
We danced 3 ringshout rounds, each 20-25 minutes long. Then there were interludes for writing, personal reflections, stretching, or more movements in between each round. The 3 ringshout rounds were inspired by an expansion of the 3-stage progression process that I birthed this year in my mmC Majestic Mother Core* movement practice. Awaken is the warming of the body, opening of the heart, becoming present to the opportunity to journey deeply into the movements. Activate is the elevated movement frequency that makes more space and energy for the excavation of what is wanting to come forth from the body and be known in thought and word. Amplify is the conscious expansion into the truths and clarities that the movement has revealed. It is the embodied Yes and the radiant affirmation of knowing that the ringshout has brought forth.
Each round of the ringshout had a question/invitation to dance into:
AWAKEN
Where can I soften?
ACTIVATE
How do I journey into my deep waters?
AMPLIFY
What am I holding?
After our last round in the saltwater ringshout, I discovered a 4th stage, Arrival. This is the integration of knowing into the cellular matter of the body. This is when the cells that we have regenerated in the movement are coded with the new narratives revealed to us in the dance. It’s like the trickle turning into the waterfall. It’s like the orgasm after the sweet surrender. I didn’t share this during the ringshout, but I think the question for the 4th stage was this:
ARRIVAL
What do I know?
This was where all the hours of dancing, and the ounces of sweat, and the soft, opened muscles, and the warm, rushing blood—this is where I can hear and receive the knowing of my body most readily, and finally say what it is I am holding, and what it is I’m ready to bring forth into the world.
Pieces I’m still developing to be included in this communion | Saltwater Ringshout 1 fertile soundscape mix by DJ Mother Mother Be
*the mmc majestic mother core is currently only accessible in the creators Portal in the garden. i am in the process of building an mmc practice portal for dancing mother. you are welcome to join the garden to access the mmc if you feel led to do so.
what is a ringshout?
Mother Mother reimagines the traditional ringshout, a repetitive, counterclockwise movement processional that was created by enslaved African ancestors on plantations in the American South. She expands on the ancient wisdom of the people who tricked their masters into thinking they were singing church hymns, but who were really communicating with their deities and ways of life that had been forbidden to express openly. Mother Mother engages the mystical brilliance of the counterclockwise spatial patterns and realizes the ability to travel across parallels of time, just like her ancestors did when living in bondage. With each ring around the circle prayers, dreams, healing, and sacred awakenings of the heart are seeded, watered and loved into being.
The night following the saltwater ringshout I dreamed my bleeding time would come, and it did, the next morning. A massive headache also came too. I wasn’t surprised by it. I had danced for nearly 3 hours, and though I had hydrated well, I didn’t have enough food after the dance to replenish and sustain me through all my mommy labors—like nursing Juju and Revvy. Also, the intensity of the headache was from the depth of discovery and clarities unearthed in my body from the saltwater ringshout. The spiritual downloads all rushing in together. My head felt it all. It took me a few days before I could record the post-ringshout reflections. But so much was still fresh in my body from the movements. I am grateful to have this piece as a part of the archives for this communion. I am listening and relistening. I hear something new each time.
One | Awaken | 19 December 2021 | Soundtrack: Amir Bresler Afro Gold Line | Osunlade A Monk’s Tear
Opening the dance with the munchkins; getting Revvy to nap; finding the bounty of the sun blessing me, warming up my body for the long labors of the ringshout.
Two | Activate | 19 December 2021 | Soundtrack: Disclosure & Fatoumata Diawara Douha (Mali Mali)
A sweet moment of celebration with Bloom; very magical to be with him in this moment; this is when I realized the saltwater ringshout wasn’t only about preparing for the winter solstice, but also was a celebration of my Sacred Return season coming to a close; Bloom was with me in the birthing, he saw all the blood; we talked and processed for weeks the transition of the starseed; it felt very healing to have this moment of movement and celebration with him; for him to witness Mommy expanded from that bloody moment of birth, to this restored moment of birthing my new life frequencies.
archival majesties | saltwater bella
June 2010 | Ft. Lauderdale, Florida | 8 progressive stills taken from a 2 minute clip filmed at the beach by Three. I detached the audio from the actual moment and paired it with the images.
In Open The Way To Love seed spiral communion no. 2 I reflect on the healing journey of finally being able to look at old pieces of my story after more than a decade of actively looking away, especially as it relates to why I ran away to Trinidad. I’ve kept some of my most uncomfortable memories tucked quietly away on flash drives and hard drives. Saltwater Bella is one such memory.
I am marveling at my brilliance to preserve these pieces of me, even as there are others I erased—like all the original still photos that used to be a part of this collection. I remember some years ago cringing as I came across these files, and deleting everything but the video clips. I remember thinking maybe I’d use the clips in a movie about my mothering journeys one day. This was long before Dancing Mother was a dream, long before even being Mother Mother was known to me.
I am celebrating my evolution in being able to thread the whole of me, in being able to look with love at my grieving, invisible motherself, and feel into the heart space to witness her and hold her from the future of her becoming. The story is so alive, and more healing is happening all the time. There is more coming.
Three | Amplify | 19 December 2021 | Soundtrack: Tony Allen Gbedu
The energy raises and I finally get Revvy to chill at the window while I dance in solo-bodied blissed; there is a bit of a collision with one munchkin who gets too close to me and my flailing arms; this is one of my favorite songs whenever I’m dancing the ringshout.
Four | Arrival | 19 December 2021 | Soundtrack: Four Tet SW9 9SL
After the collision with Bloom, and sending the big munchkins out of my room while we did our quiet reflections, I feel to dance again for round 3, Amplify; Revvy cries for much of this ringshout; he is over it and wants to go eat, or wants me to lay down and nurse him; I’m feeling for more movements, so I walk the ringshout, and hold him and nurse him and welcome what movements come from this share-bodied movement moment; I feel myself arriving into full know of what it is I am holding, of what it is I must make a way to come out: my sermons.
My sermons are born of my body in the movements, and Dancing Mother is the galaxy that I’ve created to birth my fertility sermons, sacred scriptures and sacred stories. These are the stories I felt were taking up the space in my body when my starseed was trying to grow and transitioned. To arrive here, just as my 96-day Sacred Return is coming to its close, is really magical.
I am ready now. I am ready to make more space in my body, for all my creations, and for my future starseeds.
Invisible Mother and the Sea | Invisible Labors: 3 weeks into an unnamed and unmattered Sacred Return season following the early birth of the starseeds conceived with Three the month before. I felt they were twin girls; their name was the Bella-Bella. I went to Florida alone to be at the sea to heal, but he insisted on coming with me. I was lonely in my grief after a few days and agreed, and what began a peaceful healing journey for me quickly turned into arguing, and tears, and rage. The next time I went to the sea, 5 months later, I was all the way in Trinidad. With myself, finally.