Wednesday’s Bloom at 527 + 528 weeks: Behold! A mother in the world
/// multitudinous mothering entity /// A mother who moves through the world and navigates spaces while attached to or in close, physical proximity of her children. Italicized words expanded on in the Glossary.
Wednesday’s Bloom at 527 + 528 weeks
Behold! A mother in the world
by Mother Mother Binahkaye Joy
For the Mama of 7 on the 70 bus—Thank you for seeing me, with an infant strapped to my chest, in need of some extra mama hands. Thank you for looking me straight in the eye, and witnessing my chaos with love and tenderness and understanding as my toddler was running away from me and the bus on the busy street corner. Thank you for not hesitating to lift his wailing, writhing body and for carrying him safely to a seat. Thank you for your kindness and your sweetness, and for softening what often feels so impossible and lonely when mothering in transit.
And for Mama NM—Thank you for teaching me to always look for the angels in human form when I’m out in these streets!
I am moving around the world a bit more now, since consciously quieting my public space movements a month and a half before giving birth to Luminous Glory. It is a slow progression, a gentle stretching out beyond the safe and certain walls of home.
I am learning how to be outside again—at bus stops and on train platforms, in libraries and in museums, at bakeries and dance studios, on neighbors’ porches and on sidewalks searching for acorns. All of this with my baby at the breast and attached to my body. Whenever someone new is born, it takes more and more time to realize my new life rhythms. It took me 3 years to acclimate to being a mama of 4. And then I had another baby.
I am experiencing some people’s kindnesses and others’ indifference. “You have a nice small family,” one elder mama remarked the other day. “My mother had 8,” she said before wishing us a good day.
I am aiming for that soft pocket of the day between the world’s rush hours. So far I haven’t achieved it—going and coming between 10 AM and 3 PM—but I keep setting that as an intention. Usually though, by the time everyone is fed, dressed, empty-bladdered, and with shoes on, it’s closer to 11:30/12 o’clock. And then by the time we go, have an adventure, eat the obligatory rounds of snacks, and head home it’s nearing 5 PM when rush hour is in full swing.
Photo by Wonder
I am accepting that while the bus takes longer, it is the softer way through the compressed air of rush hour with tired and cranky, hungry and fussy children. At least on the bus you can still see the sky.
Photo by Jubilee
I am feeling for the truth in every moment. I can’t know what my body will have the capacity for when the sun opens its eyes to the morning. Will I be rested? Probably not. Will I have a headache? I hope not. Will I have just gotten the baby back to sleep after she’s been wide awake since 4:27 AM? Very likely.
I am honoring that for over 10 years now I have slept intermittently through the night, tending to the hearts, minds, and bodies of multiple little humans. When the day breaks I drink a lot of water and tea, and pray I haven’t eaten anything that will anger the hemorrhoid gods. When the morning allows, I dance until I am thoroughly warmed from the inside. This brings me joy.
I am celebrating that I am a slow-moving multitudinous mothering entity. I am grateful for our soft mornings and long days. I can be with my children in these simple, sacred moments. It is lovely and essential, my tiny offering towards the preservation of tomorrow.
About this photo story
Mother Mother and the munchkins explore the bounty of flowers, plants, and the magic of growth at the Botanic Garden. All photos by Mommy, unless otherwise noted.
Wednesday’s Bloom: Moments in Motherhood is Mother Mother’s weekly-ish, textual experiment in capturing moments from her mothering journeys in 1000 words or less…
Originally birthed when her first born was 8 weeks old, the first iteration of Wednesday’s Bloom: Textual Portraits of a New Mommy lived for about a year and a half in another blog space, and then Mother Mother let the series rest for more than 8 years before beginning this second iteration, Wednesday’s Bloom: Moments in Motherhood, here inside of Notes On My Life As A Multitudinous Mothering Entity. Journey inside Mother Mother’s process of revisiting and archiving the first volume of Wednesday’s Bloom as an emerging constellation in Mother Mother’s Reading Room. Read on to try out Mother Mother’s Seeds & Sprouts practice inspired by her labors of crafting this week’s post.
Seeds & Sprouts
Every Little Step
Seed Prompt
A seed prompt is a short activity that initiates multiple openings for continuing exploration. This is designed to be something you can do in 5-10 minutes.
Write down 1 to 3 dreams you have been tending to in your heart and body. Under each dream write down the next immediate step in realizing that dream, even if it seems really simple.
Sprout Practice
A sprout practice is an opportunity to expand on whatever most stirred within your heart during the seed prompt. Save this practice for when your time is soft and you can take your time being with the discovery.
Choose one of the dreams you wrote down in your seed practice to sit with. Revisit what you stated was the next step. If you’ve already completed that step, or if you’ve since realized there is actually another step before what you thought was next, be sure to write down the next step for right now before beginning the activity.
Select one of these questions to reflect on in your journal, or recording a voice, or dancing, or being in nature, or dialoguing with someone, or making art with your hands, or in whichever other way most nourishes your process.
How ready are you to take this next step?
What feelings are loudest or take up the most space in your body when you envision yourself taking this next step?
What really scares or excites you about this next step?
Who can support you in making this next step?
Revisit this expanded practice daily, or as often as nourishes you, or until you’ve lovingly sat with each next step for the dreams you named in the seed prompt.
