Feeling For The Love
I am learning about photography. I like walking around our neighborhood with the munchkins and exploring the beauty that we have access to. This is one of my most amazing captures so far.
A beautiful thing is emerging. The congregation is really being born! I am so overjoyed with all the ways the Fertility Abundance Garden is expanding. The exchanges in Fertile Majesties this week have been soooooo amazing! I love the depth of intimacy and sharing that is happening.
Seed creation is going through another radical transformation. I am asking myself what comes when I don’t push, when I just feel for the offerings that are meant to go along with the seed. I love what is coming forth. I love the integration of understanding and practice. I realize now why this next seed has “taken so long.” It has needed to steep and simmer.
It’s as if each season of the Garden has prepared me for the softening needed to activate a more generative and expansive seed creation process. In April when the first Garden began, I couldn’t have imagined where we are now. This Garden season is the one that is transforming this process from a month-long program to a way of life.
I’ve been listening to soft music all week. I’ve had no migraines. I’m finding more and more ways to flow with the unpredictable rhythms of munchkin life. We’re reading about dinosaurs and komodo dragons and lion seals. My baby boy is weeks away from his first birthday. He is walking and saying his siblings’ names. The weather has changed and the colors outside are signaling that a new year is around the bend.
What will 2021 birth? I am fully open to all its miracles. 2020 has undone the lingering parts of me that doubted my brilliance and majesty as a creator. I feel for the love that is surrounding me and all of us. There is so much more to come, this Love says. I feel for it in my prayers, in my dance, when I’m cooking, when I’m taking the rare shower, when I’m breastfeeding one and then two children, when I’m considering the materials “God uses to hold us all together” with Bloom, and when Wonder is fascinated at the realization of the life cycle of butterflies. “Everything starts over,” he marvels.
I am reading (well, listening on Audible, but also sometimes reading along with the ebook) The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak, brought into my life by a lovely creator in the Garden. Each chapter, each passage is a meditation on love, on spirit, on god, on everything. Especially when I don’t feel like making dinner with a baby on my back or with a baby pulling every pot out of the cabinets, playing this story softens the moment and fills the process with more joy.
I started this entry hours ago when some munchkins were still sleeping. Now I’m getting Revvy to sleep for his first nap of the day (it’s so sweet when they nap more than once in a day...and I know in time he’ll move on to just one nap...and then to no naps!). Smooth, melodic music from Ayub Ogada, a Kenyan artist I just came across, is playing. The big munchkins are bouncing around downstairs. Their father is preparing for capoeira class. I’m in the Garden and excited for our Movement Lab in a few hours. Life is blessed.
This post was originally an entry in the Creators Shared Diary during the Fall 2020 season. Learn more about the Fertility Abundance Garden here.
