#1 This is all still so new.
Yes I know this. And I have to remind myself—and my family!— everyday that I JUST had a baby. That she just got here. That all the changes and new rhythms are a growth and expansion process for all of us. That one precious baby was born, and 7 whole lives were transformed in our immediate family bubble. And all of us need time to feel, breathe, and be…
Read More#1 The memory of being loved is not the same thing as feeling loved.
My older children are all trying to find their new way of connecting one-on-one with Mommy. These early weeks have been a whirlwind of vibrant feelings in every direction. Joy, disappointment, sadness, loneliness, excitement, happiness, eagerness, anxiety, anger, despair, hope, gratitude. They have all said multiple times, that their new baby sister is getting all the attention…
Read MoreI have one mirror in my house—not by choice, rather by circumstance. Four circumstances actually, ages 9, 7, 5, and especially 3. While I know there are other mothers with young children who’ve managed to have mirrors safely in their home, I am not yet one of them. Sometimes I daydream about what it would be like to have a wall of mirrors when I’m dancing, or a massive, gorgeous, oval, wood-framed mirror that reached from the floor to the ceiling, so that I could study my whole form, as I am, and not the digitally-rendered, miniature version of myself that my phone faithfully reports backs to me…
Read MoreI don’t know how to start at the beginning. It’s all the beginning. Right now. Yesterday. 10 years ago. 20 years ago. When, when, when? The choices are infinite.
When did I become a mother? There are many points that come to mind. Vivid memories, and fragmented ones too, they cascade down from the heavens and pool around my feet…
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